不懂不懂还是不懂

每一次的上课只回让我不敢去。。。。
我但心达不到自己要的。。。
又怕让sameul, & 顺凯失望。。。。
一次的让自己失望就再一次加重我的但心。。。。
为什么我达不到我给自己的要求。。。
自己给的都达不到更何况是他们的。。。
上完课只回让我不敢去下一堂课。。。
做不到也不敢面对他们。。。
怎样才能进步？？？我有follow他们。。。。
他们怎样教我就怎样练咯。。。。
可是结果又不是像我想的喔。。。
每次练完。。总觉得没什么分别是的。。。
是我真的没进步还是对自己的要求太高。。。
不懂不懂。。。

Final exam n camping cuming soon..^

huh.... time flies dame fast loh...
almost nid 2 sit 4 final exam edi... den finish 2nd sem....
aiyoyoy.... nid 2 prepare yr end mini concert..... final exam....
n cmaping too... as their primer although neednt do soooo much
but stil nid 2 help lah... shouldnt reali sit ther
'goyang kaki' watch them do de mah...^
wil go bac BB soon(as a PRIMER)....
cant believe it i can 'survive' in BB so long^
@ 1st I oso tot dat i'll quit d challenge but how I noe.... now
I stil keep challenge it.... wahahahhah^
no BB life feel bored... although s working but jz feel dat got
sumthg din do.... if holiday no BB more 'cham' lah^
dat day dun noe wan 2 do wat... hehehhehe^
looks crazy leh me.... go BB cant go out wif fren even giv up d ty wif
family i stil wan 2 go wohhh.... huh... happy man....
I feel dat I change a lot a lot a lot liao wooohhh....
hehheh^ but thx god I'm now i'm..... wahahhaha.....^
I word.... AMEN....

WHY^

2day dad ask me 2 quit job.... s must...
haiz.... dis few edi feel lame.... bored ..... stress.....
想哭但是哭不出来......
I feel bad.... coz work 4 samuel jz 3mth oni.....
but now say wan 2 quit....
he wan me learn designner y not jz let me learn in dat^
den y let me go study DBA....
so sucks...
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.....
I tot I cant tahan 2yr 4mth coz of u....
but now I dun noe how long I can syand 4 it.....
sumty think dat I wanna 2 giv up many many thg.....
my world..... my life..... my happiness.....
but I dun dare 2 do..... coz I wan wat I wan 2 fulfill.....
I wan live 4 myself not 4 other....
but wat can I do....

烦啊^

今天一大早在书房看到BB的trophy
我又开始想了......
BB 改变了我才有现在的我.......
音乐冷静了我也改变了我.....
那么我不可能回报音乐因为他不是人类啊....
那唯有回报BB了.....
but I go bac I dont hav income 2 support myself...
but if I talk 2 samuel s impossible..... coz wil make him trouble...
1...quit job go bac BB
2...continue work fail BB
I dun noe wat 2 do.... I dun noe I dun noe I dun noe....
capt say cum bacc BB s volunteer but he wont say out....
jz mdm wil say oni... now he edi say out.....feel sad if I din go bac....
I scared??? dun dare 2 take d burden??? stress???
responsible??? lead??? teach??? organize???
huh... many many many thg 2 do... PSEC??? violin??? band???
wat d ....... even studies???
I dun noe I dun noe I really dun noe....
but no1 can help beside myself... cant quit studies coz dad wan it...
cant totally quit BB coz I miz it.....
cant giv up music coz s my life.....
dad dun like me 100% in music n BB...
he wan me help him.... but I.... haiz...

友情,心情

今天很happy因为跟他们的友情又像以前酱了......
今天开完会一起出去又对他们了解了更多.....
原来他们都受了很多委屈可是我都不懂啊......
今天开会让我有想回BB的念头....
不是我不要回而是我的音乐路途要用到很多钱....
我才会要打工的....我不要爸妈出完我所有的费用啊....
in d meeting mdm ask me 2 take over officer council
QM job.... now I responsible in dat^
but how??? can I???
if saturday work half day dis wil cause trouble 2 samuel....
2 option 1 choice..... BB o FYB.....????
wat can I do??? wat I really wan????
coz of BB n parent giv me chance 才有现在的我.....
可我什么都没做......
是我不要去做，不想去做，不敢去面对，还是像院长说的
不敢踏出第一步.....
if I go bac nid 2 handle many thg... wil cause my stress bcum more...
burden more.... everythg more more more n more....
I dun noe how 2 do..... how should I do.....
how should I choose....
all depend on me... but I....
haiz.... feel so useless... huh...

怎么办^

今天一直在想着PSEC的东东......
可能是因为不懂它是怎样的才会有这样的想法.....
哎哟.....可能是上了第一次的vocal clas 才会酱的啦.....
一直给samuel 讲讲讲....是人都不要啦
actually 问题也在我这啦...哈哈哈....
一直不敢不敢酱....他当然不爽啦....
在BB我会讲人.....出来了又不干....
I think 一方面是因为我不懂才会酱咯.....
在BB学了很多懂的也比他们多所以才没压力的.....
现在什么都不懂才会酱.....
huh...

How ar???^

今天疯了.....不懂那里接错线竟然进PSEC.....^
不知过后会怎样啊...^
总觉得自己唱得怪怪的.....哈哈哈
不过做了决定就‘霍’出去啦....
Ivan Ng 加油啦^
不要轻易放弃哦....不然就不像你啦....^

New Blog

Aiyoooo......^
few mth din log in yahoo blog now cant use liao lah^
hate hate hate^
huh...
2day jz finish Micro test^
dun wan wil how leh^ haiz....^
tmrw dun noe wat samuel wil teach^ singing i scared lah^
i sing not gud^ den nid 2 sing 1ty n let him hear 1st^
so dat he can decide wat I can learn 4 now...^
myb instrument wil do^ den after dat nid 2 learn sing den learn...^
erm....^ my world.....^ many ????? question mark^